Когда взрослый человек протягивает визитку, а на ней написано «Леша» или «Маруся», что это говорит о ее хозяине? Is it possible to take him seriously? Or maybe the name does not mean anything at all and it is important to look at qualities and skills?
“Somehow they sent me a resume. I read – everything seems to be fine, competent specialist, 32 years old. I decided to invite for an interview, opened mail to answer and saw the address from which the applicant wrote to us. Something type “Katinok” (the name Katya is played out). And I saw a photo – a girl in a swimsuit on an avatar of mail. If a person in the age of 32 does not understand that the resume should be sent from a box with a neutral name, I have doubts whether he has grown up to a high position, ”Galina shares, an employee of the HR service.
27-year-old Elena faced similar doubts. “Men 40-45 years old with nicknames like Vasek, Vitek knocked on me. Honestly, the image of a kind of zabuldygi in a shirt-alcoholic T-shirt was immediately born in my head. I definitely do not want to build a relationship with such a thing, but even get acquainted “.
There is such a saying: “They meet on clothes, they escort by the mind”.
“I will argue – not only by clothes. Your name is the first thing you call when meeting. And on how you are represented, it depends on how you will be perceived. Think about how differently they sound: Dmitry, Dima, Mitya, Dimon, Dimochka … There are different images of a person behind these names, ”says the psychologist Marina Terentyeva.
There are many diminutive names in Russian in Russian. It does not surprise anyone if they are used in a home or friendly environment. But if we are presented to us in a business conversation and all the more insist that we turn just like that?
“In our culture, it is customary to call children short names – Vova, Vitya, Light. Mom calls her son Sasha. At school, his name is Sasha. Friends in the yard – Shurik. The child responds to all these names, but inside he calls himself with one name. And he lives with the feeling that he is Sasha (or Shurik, or somehow). The boy grows up, turns into a man. And Sasha turns into Alexander, – continues Marina Terentyeva. – But sometimes this does not happen. And then we are faced with a shurik of 45 years, on the dating site – with Sasha https://prowebhosting.top/2023/11/28/exness-keep-it-simple/ 37 years old, and in difficult negotiations with Sasha 53 years old “.
Borders and distance
By the way a person seems to be a personal acquaintance, on social networks or on a dating site, you can make an opinion about him, a psychologist is sure. The full name with personal acquaintance indicates a desire to keep a distance between you and the interlocutor. This form of circulation makes communication more official.
“Full name on a social network or on a dating site is quite appropriate. However, if a person uses a full name everywhere, even in a friendly informal setting, then most likely he cannot relax. Out of habit, builds a border among themselves and people. Imagine a serious boss who walks in a suit and tie all day and even does not allow himself to wear a T -shirt and relax “.
When a person uses a full name in informal communication, most likely he seeks to emphasize his status, raise self -esteem. A short name (Volodya, Lisa, Sveta) involves an informal mood when communicating and reduces the distance. But it is important to consider the appropriateness and context, as in the case told by Galina.
“Anyone who, even in serious negotiations seems to be a short name, wants to feel free in any situation,” says Marina Terentyeva. – Such a person protests against social norms or does not feel them. It is difficult for him to comply with rules, the meaning of which he does not understand “.
A short name on social networks and on a dating site can be used depending on the purpose of creating an account, the character of a person and the image that we want to create.
“This can be appropriate for mother on maternity leave, who wants to get closer to her subscribers, but is not at all suitable for a serious trader who is important to win authority,” the psychologist believes.
Kindergarten, and only
When a person seems to be acquainted with diminutive names (Lech, Gosha, Seryoga), this speaks of infantility and immaturity, the expert suggests.
“This form of communication is characteristic more likely for adolescents. Perhaps a person has not advanced in development if he continues to use this name “.
If it’s more comfortable for us to imagine so, it is worth considering – in what matters we have lingered in Pubertat and how it helps us or interferes with us. Substitutes of Olenka, Tanechka, Pavlik carry additional emotional load. There is something childishly touching and tender in this. The aggressive shade acquire jargon forms of Dimon, Serega, Andryukha.
“A person consciously or unconsciously, using this form, creates a certain image. Its diminutive name is perceived as a permission to familiarize. Do not be surprised if you suddenly react to you, – notes Marina Terentyeva. – But as in any rule, there are exceptions. Sometimes this or that form of the name is associated with us with some kind of memory. And it can be either pleasant and irritating, resentment or even pain. “For example, my mother called the little daughter Masha, and when she scolded her, she said loudly:“ Maria! Aren `t you ashamed!”So it settled with Masha that Mary is something shameful. Deeply settled. Maybe adult Masha does not remember how it was. And the dislike of the name remained “.